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Review #4143329
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Review by Tiggy
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Rated: | (4.5)
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*PenB* First Impression:

For a moment I thought that Louie would stop just in time, but it wasn’t to be. There was of course some justice in that and the revenge was fair, but like I said in the last review, I felt I needed some more information that only Lord Norin could give. And as it happened, that explanation never really came in this last part. You hinted at it in the previous one but while I’m not a fan of handing the readers all the details on a platter, I don’t think it was clear enough. As I said, Norin, despite the history between him and Louie, didn’t really say much so there might be on opportunity to let him explain it before Louie takes his revenge.

The way you brought the music back in the last part was a nice touch because that’s how the story began and it rounded it off nicely. It also reminded me that Louie wasn’t a harmless kid or even a prince but that he was a dangerous creature who could be a threat to anyone around him, even if he didn’t mean to be. Morison knew that, just as he knew how to calm him down. I felt for the vampire when he declared he could never be human again, and of course he couldn’t be, but somehow it was implied that he would be something close to it. As a statement without further explanation, this worked quite well; I think the readers will be able to accept that at face value.

As in the previous part, the king showed no remorse for his actions and it seemed that he was happy to let Louie have the crown now that he was dying. No one seemed to find it particularly strange that a vampire would be king and it seemed that Louie did change like Morison said he could, although, again, I’m not sure if it was clear how that happened. The heart had something to do with it but the whole concept was a bit vague.


*PenG* Suggestions:

I only spotted one little typo,

the song he new. Prince Louie.
That should say, “knew.”


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I seemed to have more questions as the story developed but don’t take that the wrong way; it doesn’t mean that I didn’t like it, on the contrary. I perhaps got into it a bit too much and wanted to understand everything. I think you have an excellent tale here and since you have clearly given it a lot of thought, I’m sure you know the answers. I just don’t think that you totally managed to let your readers in on all the secrets, but since you said you were planning to edit this story, that might be something to bear in mind.


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