This is interesting. I like the characterization and wanted to read more. Be careful of using too many words though because it becomes chunky and hard to read. For example "The angels had told him he was doing well, and he'd relayed this praised on to the others."

You can shorten this to "The angels told him he did well. He relayed this praise to the others." Just taking out those short, sometimes unneeded words can be helpful. Before you do though, read it and make sure it works...I've give this advice to have authors tae out every little word in their manuscript and don't mistake me to be saying they are never needed, they are. It's just tat in some places they are not and when they are not they can slow you down quite a bit.

Keep Up The Great Writing!!!

LB

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **