*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4148216
Review #4148216
Viewing a review of:
 
Artificial Intelligence  [18+]
"I have emotions. I'm real...."
by W.D.Wilcox
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi, Will!

I came across your story in the 2015 Aug 19th Action/Adventure Newsletter. The title was 'Good Description', and it's obvious why Leger chose your work.

When I'm less than enthusiastic about the beginning of a story, I skip to the middle and sometimes to the end before deciding to review or not. Two things about that habit.

First, I knew from the first sentence there was no way I was letting this story escape from me.

And secondly, I'm happy there was no skipping to the end because it was a shock. Lucky for me I didn't read the brief description because that gives away the ending, which would have been less effective.

I had only one question, and it's not really a question. If the AI's want to be human, how does killing humans accomplish that? Actually, that makes them very human since homo-sapiens excel in the atrocities of inhumanity against themselves.

Back to the plot--sorry. The plot unfolded in my mind as if I was watching a television show. Or maybe I watch too much sci-fi. Great use of futuristic tools and words.

A few of my favorites
The door irises open--succinct visual with sound.
turquoise flame burning the corridor black -colors exploding
potato peeler - yuck, effective without the gore, though.
fairy lights - so unlikely in this plot

I liked the alliteration of Sully Sumner. My position is that character names tell a story all their own, and it's a waste not to take advantage of that. The sound of the character's name echoed in my head. I had to think a bit before pronouncing it, and it's a name that most likely will not be forgotten.

I learned quite a bit from reading this. Your sentence structure was varied, as were the lengths. Dialogue was interspersed, demonstrating two sides of the same story, without switching POV.

You certainly don't need me telling you this little story is great. I'll let the five stars do all the talking.


Peeking in with a SP review sig


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/31/2015 @ 12:48pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4148216