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Review #4148856
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Review by Tiggy
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: | (4.0)
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*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*



*StarB* First Impressions:

As I was reading, I was aware that I was missing a few references and I wasn’t familiar with all of the terminology or places you used here, but what I concentrated on instead was the tone of the story and the voice of the narrator. It seemed like an everyday bus journey and an encounter with a fellow traveller like most readers would have had at some point, yet there was more to it and the reflections of the narrator led to some intriguing comparisons. The descriptions at the beginning worked well to set the scene and it was easy to imagine the narrator on his journey. There was a hint of humour when you described the strange attraction of someone reading an actual book, which, I agree, is something of a novelty these days, especially when it is a thick book that is perhaps better suited for a quiet read on the couch.


*StarG* Suggestions:

The introduction of the other character was excellent and again, it was easy to picture him and the narrator’s reaction to him. I was a little confused for a moment when you described him first and then said,

So engrossed was I in reading that I had no idea who was sharing the seat with me.

The order of events seemed to be the wrong way around here. It might work to go straight from the description to the narrator’s surprise and omit this sentence; that way, you would avoid the fact that he described him first and then said he hadn’t noticed him.


*StarP* Final Thoughts:

I liked the way you kept making reference to the book the narrator was reading and drawing comparisons both to his life in general and to this particular bus journey. The way you went back to the beginning in the final paragraph was also nicely done, it rounded off the tale without sounding repetitive. Like I said, I did have the feeling that some of the references were lost on me but the writing was excellent and I enjoyed reading this tale.


A Simply Positive reviewing sig.


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   *CheckG* You last responded to this review 08/26/2015 @ 10:17pm EDT
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