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Review #4149205
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Review by Charlie ~
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Rated: | (3.0)
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Hello, Furlong . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to WDC today with a quick review. Feel free to email me if you have any site questions or need a hand finding your way around. *Thumbsup*

General thoughts. I had fun trying to figure out what the 'developments' were that you spoke of in the description for this poem. I thought it might be spelled out within, but we couldn't be so lucky. *Pthb*

That's cool. You did a good job giving context clues for the reader to use in this piece. Based on the 'unexpected light/unexpected life' part, I would guess that this poem might be about an unplanned pregnancy. It would also make sense with the rest of the poem as far as other people feeling as though it won't be okay, even though you do. I like the last line the best because it has good emotional impact.

Consider this. The first part of the poem seems disconnected from the second half, in my opinion. The beginning is quite repetitive and I noticed quite a few errors in punctuation and typos. I think this could use an edit to really pull everything together with more strong poetic language.

The end. Overall, I enjoyed reading this. I thought it was an interesting start to an emotional poem. Hope all turns out well if this is based on fact! Thanks for sharing.


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/27/2015 @ 12:49pm EDT
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