%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4150422 |
 | Cheerleader  [E] My bestfriend, my cheerleader. Short story written for The Playlist contest  |
| (4.0)| Hi doc15   Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! It's been pleasure to review your "Cheerleader" on behalf of the Simply Positive Group. Please be reminded that my review is based on one person's opinion and you have all rights to choose if you like it or not. So please feel free to use if you find something interesting or just ignore if you don't like something. Plot?This is a nice little story about how the worse moment in our life can turn into something better. Well, life is like that, unpredictable and we never know what's awaiting us behind the next corner. Seems like Lexi has been cheerleader for your life even after her death. She's an angel, looking down on you in every moment. Characters?It's very less known about any of characters here. Readers don't know what happened and how Lexi died, we also don't know much about the guy who you met at the graveyard except that he had handsome face. It's not known how he turned to be your soulmate. Characters are the one who rule the story and here you could tell much more about them if the contest you entered allow more than 700-800 word count. Mood?I felt that you wanted to write this story as encouragement first for yourself then for the reader. It's like, you wanted us to know that we should believe in miracles. I probably believe in this kind of miracle, if not in this way, I believe that someone is always watching on us from above. However, I think this story is too short and not saying much to convince us. I got feeling that you're telling it to your friend while you're drinking coffee in some pub before you'll go to work--you have like half an hour time and you wanna say what happened to you. Suggestions?You could add more details about how Lexi died and that night in the hospital. I think also that you could write more about a man since he found his place in your heart where Lexi was once. Like a brief description of the characters. Again, forgive me as I don't know what are the contest rules here, I'm just giving suggestions on improvement of the story as it is. Overall impression?I love the point of your story. It's encouraging and emotional. Please be reminded that this is just my personal opinion and I gave you suggestions as I think are good for improvement. Thanks for sharing your work with us and welcome to WdC. All smiles.. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ~Minja~ "SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP"  Be courageous and try to write in a way that scares you a little ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 09/02/2015 @ 4:03pm EDT