*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4150445
Review #4150445
Viewing a review of:
 An Understandable Mistake  [E]
An employee must explain to his boss, how it all went wrong.
by Jordan Elliot
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
This was quite interesting to read. You have taken a conversation between a boss and his employee and somehow made it interesting. I don't think that this was interesting because of the situation that Curdy got himself into either (although that was funny). I do think, however, that what made this interesting is your engaging writing style. You've set the scene perfectly and I could clearly envision your main characters and every move they made.

Your characterization is also very strong. You have created relatable and well rounded characters within the span of a few short lines and that was a huge part of the appeal of this piece.

And last but not least, my favorite part of the whole thing is the humor. It's not the obvious or in-your-face type of humor, it is the more subtle type. And I really enjoyed that.

This is beautifully written too.

The only thing that might need a bit of improvement are these two sentences:

"you have destroyed that ability, in me, to believe"

and:

"So I took a chance that there was no gold.”

The first one feels a bit too wordy (I'm sorry, I know this might sound ridiculous) but I feel like the more straightforward version: "You have destroyed my ability to believe" might work better.

As for the second statement, I just found it a bit confusing. I did not understand what the character was really trying to say.

Other than that this is quite funny and very nicely written!

Many thanks for sharing this!


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/01/2015 @ 1:20am EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4150445