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Review #4150446
Viewing a review of:
 A Word To The Blind  [13+]
Another early piece.
by Erik Woods
Review by ~Minja~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Erik Woods *Smile*

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


It's been pleasure to review your "A Word To The Blind"  on behalf of the Simply Positive Group. Please be reminded that my review is based on one person's opinion and you have all rights to choose if you like it or not. So please feel free to use if you find something interesting or just ignore if you don't like something.

*Star*Rhyme?
There's some rhyme in here but it's not following specific scheme. In third stanza I think you, kind of, forced it.

*Flagp*If I just burst out crying,
would you really even care.
Or would you just patronise me,
saying oh my friend, there there.

This stanza is not too much poetic as the rest of the poem. I understand what you meant here but I just don't see it working with the rest of the poem. Other than that everything else is pretty nice, I could relate to the words you said here. Most of the people feel like this.

*Star*Mood?
It has that dark mood as I felt that you've been writing about someone who suffer depression at its late stage. This is a word to that blind friend and it would be for sure helpful if he hears it. Most of the people don't understand term depression until you practically draw your feelings on the paper.

*Star*Overall impression?
I think this is fine poem except that Or would you just patronise me, saying oh my friend, there there part. I just couldn't find it poetical as the rest of the poem. If you were looking for some words that rhyme with care, I can suggest to you some so you can maybe think of other sentence or something. Here are my words that rhyme with care:
*Bulletv*share
*Bulletv*bare
*Bulletv*air
*Bulletv*swear
*Bulletv*spare
*Bulletv*dare
*Bulletv*rare etc..

Thanks for sharing your work with us. I hope you'll enjoy in your stay here and welcome to WdC once again. All smiles.. *Smile*
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~Minja~
"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" 
*Pencil* Be courageous and try to write in a way that scares you a little *Pencil*
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