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Review #4151509
Viewing a review of:
 Obligation  [E]
Just a brief poem
by Sandro Benetti
Review of Obligation  
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (2.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello, Sandro Benetti . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to WDC today with a quick review. Feel free to email me if you have any site questions or need a hand finding your way around. *Thumbsup*

General thoughts. I wanted to read this poem because the one-word titles always jump out at me when I'm looking at a page full of different items. The description didn't give much away, but I always have time for a quick poetry read.

That's cool. I like the idea behind this poem. Sometimes in life we really do need to just handle our business even if we're indecisive or don't want to do it. I like the last line because I do think it's a good message. It's important to take control of your life and we typically only end up regretting the choices we allow others to make for us. At the very least, everything is a learning experience, right?

Consider this. While I like the idea for the poem, I think some of the lines were a bit weak. For example: Why do you think we're here for?/Quit living fast and large!

"Why do you think we're here for" just doesn't sound grammatically correct. It really distracts while reading your poem. I'm not sure how the following line connects with the ideas in the rest of the poem. Isn't the point that the person isn't living fast and large? That's why they'd want to take charge of their situation in the first place, which is what the rest of the lines talk about. Hmmm...

The end. Overall, I thought this was an interesting idea to write a poem on. I think there were some strong points here and, with some editing, it could be a powerful poem. Thanks for sharing with us!


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