Hi ohsoquiet,

I just finished reading your story which I found in your portfolio, 52 Stories - Entry: Week One and I would like to offer you the following review. Please note that this review is a culmination of my opinion and what knowledge I have. It is meant in the spirit of assistance and appreciation only. Please feel free to use what you deem useful and ignore the rest.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS This is an interesting concept. A story a week? Very cool.


STORY STRENGTHS I love the concept of this story. Especially the line: May you always see the beauty in everything. Even, 'water'.


GRAMMATICAL/SPELLING
The own grammatical error I found was in my favorite sentence. I recommend changing it to ...beauty in everything -- even, 'water'." The quote marks should definitely be on the outside of the period.


OVERALL IMPRESSION
I feel that this could easily expand into a longer more involved piece. Although it is lacking in description it has an interesting premise and would make a fascinating story.


Thank you for sharing your work!
Write On!!