OVERALL SENSE:A little girl wants to show everyone, including the boys, that she has the bravery and wits to be a boy scout. Sleeping in her older brother's use-to-be tree house - all that's left is a ladder made of old leather dog leashes and sturdy horse harnesses which she found still dangling from the tree. She made a makeshift tree house, a tent that she somehow anchored to the tree's crotch which was wide enough to do this. She slept for three days in her tent until invaders came to cut her stay short.

         TITLE APPEAL: "Maple House" is the title. I was thinking all kinds of things when I read this title, but never suspected the plot that you came up with. The description was simply, "Maple House was all my own. If only my neighbors agreed!"

         STYLE/VOICE: This story was written for children and its a comedy. This was for a contest.

The voice stays strong, never a dull moment as we followed this twelve year old protagonist.

         TONE/MOOD: The tone is casual, compassionate about her idea, and straightforward about the agenda she set out to do.

The mood is content about her ability to be a boy scout, passionate with her ideas, and unhappy her stay was cut short by these marauders, but happy to be with her little sister and mother again.

         SCENE/SETTING: The scene and setting takes place at Maple House which belongs to her Uncle Morris who likes his liquor and won't even know she's there. She didn't want to be disturbed during her project on showing everyone that she's brave enough to stay by herself.

         CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: I think this character is one that never gives up, steadfast in her ideas which she follows through on.

Personality: A spirited young girl that plans ahead, knows what she wants and goes ahead and does it.

Motivation: Showing the boys and everyone that she can do anything she sets out to do. She's brave, smart, and doing what she did showed bravery in my book.

         PLOT: The sequence of leading to the "why" things happened drew me into this character's life. She reminded me of my daughter who wanted so much to do what the boys did, but she was blocked at every turn. Her spirited daughter has taken up her reins and is getting further than she did. So I could understand this character's mindset.

Structure: I was introduced to the important background as to the information about the setting, dialogues, character's thoughts, good background details along with great descriptions, and narration.

Conflict: Showing bravery, skill, and wit when away from home, by yourself.

}Climax: The point of greatest tension in a story was the bear. I wouldn't want to be anywhere near one.

Development/Pace: After reading this story, did you find yourself bored and uninterested? *red*No, I think this is a great children's story, especially for girls who feel like this main character does.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/SENTENCE STRUCTURE: I didn't find any errors.

AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT: I think the only complaint for me would be more description during your three day stay which you put in one small paragraph. Otherwise, great story.

         LINES I LIKED: Silence. The first night in the Maple House was almost too quiet. I could hear an owl in the orchard, probably hunting some poor little mouse. I could hear the crickets serenading each other and the bull frog over in the pond. But no TV, no little sis’s Gamebox, no car noise, no human noises at all. I liked it. I slept like a baby.
Not really. I woke up sore and stiff and sweating hot. The sleeping bag must be made for the South Pole and not for Virginia in September.

         WHY I LIKED THIS QUOTE: Sleeping in the crotch in the tree sounds uncomfortable to me, even if the girl is twelve. I can just imagine how hot sleeping in that sleeping bag must have been. You summed that up beautifully.

JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION: Thank you for sharing this item! I love a story like this, someone with plenty of confidence in herself to do what she did. I could see a little girl doing this, like my daughter.



Take care now, keep on writing, I’ll keep on reading,

Jeannie





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .