Hi june401 ,

I just finished reading your story which I found under the LGBT genre, "Everyone Was Dead"  and I would like to offer you the following review. Please note that this review is a culmination of my opinion and what knowledge I have. It is meant in the spirit of assistance and appreciation only. Please feel free to use what you deem useful and ignore the rest.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS
This feels like a spoken word. I love the message in this piece and really hope that you meant speculative as well as literal ghosts. Since with poetry the meaning is often in the eyes of the reader, I feel that the ghosts are the barriers that keep us from being the person we could be. Which to me gives the line "You told me that our kissing was a way for them to see the light..." so much power.

SUGGESTIONS
As a spoken word piece I have no suggestions. As standard poetry....it would need some work to fall into any of the standard poetry forms.


OVERALL IMPRESSION
I really like the message behind this and your words gave the simple act of kissing so much meaning. Excellent job!!


Thank you for sharing your work!
Write On!!