OVERALL SENSE: I write children's stories too and thought this would be perfect for a younger child to read or listen to. It has just the right kind of suspense that would perk a child's interest. Mr. Greene was a great character who like to stretch the truth a little that unfortunately for him, most of his forest friends have already gotten clued into. One of these days he will learn, but the treasure he found was real, one that a child would love to have.

         TITLE APPEAL: "How Mr. Green Lost his Leg" is a great title for a children's book. It's an appealing mystery which any child would want to read and find out what happened, appealing to their curious nature.

         STYLE/VOICE: The style is Children's, Fantasy, and is written for Rhythm's and Writing.

The voice stays mostly with Mr. Greene as he is trying to get someone to listen to his story on how he lost his leg.

         TONE/MOOD: The tone is hopeful on Mr. Greene's part but everyone else got impatient. It's whimsical and friendly, a perfect child's tone for a book.

The mood is determined on Mr. Greene's part, Mrs. Brown was friendly enough but became anxious when his story took too long to tell.

         SCENE/SETTING: The scene and setting took place at a cave where Mrs. Green was bottling honey. She was right in the midst of getting it done when Mr. Greene came calling.

         CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: Mrs. Brown and her bear cub, Artie, were interested in Mr. Greene's story up to a point.

Angela and her doe friends love gossip and Mr. Greene hoped they would listen, but they were even less patient in listening to Mr. Greene's lengthy tale.

Lyall the wolf was the last and just barely listened, but didn't dis him as the other's did and Mr. Greene got to finish his tale on how he lost his leg.

Personality: Everyone was friendly enough to Mr. Greene, but they knew of Mr. Greene and his truth stretching and lengthy tales. Impatience always got in the way.

Motivation: Mr. Greene was determined to finish his tale, and he flew around until he found someone to tell it to.

         PLOT: The sequence of events leading to the "why" things happened where mainly through Mr. Greene's imagination and their curiosity on why he lost his leg. It did draw me into these character's lives and helped me understand why everyone got impatient. Even I, the curious one, was getting impatient, wanting to know why he lost his leg. Let me say, I know of people who does this exact same thing and it drives me crazy.

Structure: Plot structure — I was introduced to the important background - the information about the setting, dialogues, character's thoughts, background details, along with great descriptions, and narration. These all helped move the story along.

Conflict: A grasshopper with one leg missing does make one wonder as Mrs. Brown did, which led into Mr. Greene telling her why. I guess when he starts a story, he would like to finish it.

}Climax: The point of greatest tension in a story - When he sat on Lyall's, the wolf's nose. I thought that was the point of no return for Mr. Greene.

Development/Pace: Pace - It was a slow moving story, because Mr. Greene was too slow in telling his tale. He always had to do one better when others knew of whatever location he was speaking of, like the creek.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/SENTENCE STRUCTURE: Mrs. Brown’s eyes eyes lit up - You typed eyes twice.

AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT: NONE - I think you included everything that was needed in this story for any child to understand.

         LINES I LIKED: When she left, Artie asked, “Did the creek have lots of white rocks? Pine creek has lots of those. And deep parts with branches you can swing on and jump in?”
Mr. Greene hmmed (hemmed?) a moment and said, “No, I believe they were all grey rocks. And just straight trunks. An all-business creek!”
“Oh.” Artie kicked his feet against the log and looked over to his parents, whose shoulders were shaking for some reason, like they did when the family had a tickle fight.

         WHY I LIKED THIS QUOTE: High-lighting these lines shows why Mr. Greene took so long in telling his story. He always seemed to want to do one better or knew of something entirely different than what his listeners knew of.

JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION: Thank you for sharing this item! A good children's story and I can just picture the illustrations that would go along with this story. Good job.



Take care now, keep on writing, I’ll keep on reading,

Jeannie



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .