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Review #4154122
Viewing a review of:
 The Swing  [13+]
There is something really odd about that swing. It doesn't fit in with the park.
by Duty
Review of The Swing  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Flower4* Hi Duty! Thank you for sharing this intriguing story! *Smile* *Flower4*


*Reading*MY INITIAL THOUGHTS*Reading*

This captured my attention with the title. A story about a swing...it sounded quite promising. I wasn't disappointed.

● Character(s):

Your characters are quite believable and work well together.

Catherine, or Cat as she is called, is a child caught up in the grip of a living nightmare.

Her mother, Tracy, is bound and determined to get to the bottom of the mystery of the swing. I won't give too much away, but I loved her relentless pursuit of getting rid of the wretched piece of playground equipment from hell.

Secondary characters Bulwark and Trudy help Tracy carry out her mission, and they are very likeable characters.

● Storyline/Plot:

I really love all of the suspense in this story. I was captivated, and could hardly wait to see what happened next. The subject of the story was very unique. Bravo! *Star*

● Dialogue:

The dialogue was very natural and believable. All of the characters' dialogue were placed into separate paragraphs. Good job! *Thumbsup*



*Heart* MY FAVORITE PART(S):*Heart*

"Tracey felt extreme rage sweep through her. She channeled the rage to the ledger and promised to herself that she would get this bastard. She took a deep breath and concentrated on the page. She read all the posts on the payroll. She consciously pictured what each post would encompass then would continue to the next one." I love the fierce determination of Tracy to keep this abomination from hurting another child.

*Idea* SUGGESTIONS: *Idea*

Although readable enough, it might be a good idea to single-space your paragraphs, just to make it easier on the eyes.

Other than that, perfect spelling, punctuation and grammar. Great job! *Badge*


*Vine1*IN CLOSING: *Vine2*

Thanks again for sharing this story. It is an edge-of-your-seat thriller that I know your readers will love as much as I did. *Smile*

I think you're a very good writer, and I hope to read more from you soon. Keep up the good work, & Keep Writing! *Pencil*


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