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Review #4154719
Viewing a review of:
 The thing that wouldn't stay still  [ASR]
FOR THE WRITING OPENINGS CONTEST
by Zooterman
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Flower4*Hi Zooterman! Thank you for sharing this curious story *Smile* *Flower4*


*Reading*MY INITIAL THOUGHTS*Reading*

To be quite honest, my initial thoughts were annoyance. I could not figure out why the storyline was shifting from person to animal to animal to person. But when I reached the end, I totally got it! *Facepalm*

Character(s):

Your characters are completely unattached to each other, which is what makes this story work. *Thumbsup*

Storyline/Plot:

For such a short story, you've got a pretty clever little plot going here. I won't give away too much, but I find it hilarious how the first line "connects" (no pun intended! *Laugh*) with the last one.

Dialogue:

The one and only line of dialogue, being at the end, and being the "aha!" moment, works wonderfully!



*Heart* MY FAVORITE PART(S):*Heart*

"The god of cats had given him the tasty morsel from an open window. It had flown to him in perfect arch and trajectory and landed with three bounces at his very paws." This is hysterical, now that I know what it actually means! *Laugh*


*Idea* SUGGESTIONS: *Idea*

None that I could find. Perfect spelling, punctuation and grammar. Great job! *Badge*



*Vine1*IN CLOSING: *Vine2*

Thanks again for sharing this clever, funny story. I will admit, from the title I was expecting a different kind of story (which is brilliant, in and of itself), but I know your readers will enjoy this as much as I did. *Smile*

I think you're a very good writer, and I hope to read more from you soon. Keep up the good work, & Keep Writing! *Pencil*


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