OVERALL SENSE: Whatever Joanie did, did she deserve what was happening to her at First-Step Addiction Recovery Center? Dungeon speaks to me of all kind of horrors going on and I, for one, wouldn't want to be Joanie. Why the Judge asked for her personally does make me wonder what he has in mind? I also have a feeling Joanie will never see the light of day if Judge Randall has any say in the matter and if she does, she will feel defiled by the very laws that are suppose to protect. What a wake-up call!

         TITLE APPEAL: "Inmate 1128" is the title of this story. When you are given a number, that is what you're referred to most of the time. Your God-given name is no longer yours to hear and be referred by. So this title is perfect, showing Joanie not only lost her freedom but her name too.

         STYLE/VOICE: The style is Horror/Scary, Dark.

The voice stays with Joanie as she is lead away by two officers with a mandatory sentence commenced immediately for her to serve. I remember the old saying by Walter Scott whenever this happens to someone like Joanie — “Oh, what a tangled web we weave...when first we practice to deceive.”

         TONE/MOOD: The tone is incredulous, apprehensive, and foreboding. Being led away towards the dungeon is more terrifying than Joanie's nightmare. Are they trying to drive her nuts with the drugs they are giving her and those shots?

The mood is hopeless, terrifying, and nightmarish. When your life is no longer yours to decided what to do with, and it is left up to someone else, especially when you are sentenced to live behind bars in the facility Joanie is now residing, life can get mighty merciless. Who can you tell?

         SCENE/SETTING: The scene and setting starts out with Joanie standing before the judge as her sentence is being read.

         CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: I can help feeling sorry for Joanie. I don't know what she did wrong, but whatever it was, her nightmare is only beginning.

Personality: Joanie seems timid and shy, scared to death at what is happening to her. Whatever days lie before her - seems to me - they will be filled with gloomy, tense times.

Motivation: I have a feeling Joanie will want out of this place soon. There will be no fun times or relief from fear anytime soon. Will she make a break for it? Is there anyway possible to do such a thing? These will be my thoughts if I were in her situation.

         PLOT: The sequence of events leading to the "why" these things are happening to Joanie. So I can only guess, but it did draw me into this character's life and helped me understand the choices that she will have to make. Oh, poor Joanie!

Structure: Plot structure — I was introduced to the setting, dialogues, character's thoughts, a little background, along with great descriptions, and narration. This all helped to move this story along.

Conflict: All I can think about what is waiting in the dungeon for Joanie? I know the judge is, and what has he got in mind? Dungeon means torture in my book.

}Climax: The point of greatest tension in a story or the point of no return are those pills they are giving Joanie, whatever those shots are all about, and Judge Randall. This all have the means to give Joanie a huge headache.

Development/Pace: The story moved along at a fairly good pace. I wasn't bored, had many emotional feelings when reading this story.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/SENTENCE STRUCTURE: I couldn't find any errors.

AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT: A little more background into what Joanie did would have been nice.

         LINES I LIKED: Her once-beautiful curly blond hair was pulled back into a ponytail but strands had already come loose. Joanie undid the ponytail and ran her fingers through her lifeless hair. How could she have allowed herself to get this bad?

         WHY I HIGHLIGHTED THIS: Joanie is wondering how she let herself get this bad, so I'm thinking she was doing drugs, maybe even selling them, too. She was arrested for some reason, I can't picture her killing anyone.

JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION: Thank you for sharing this item! Another great story I've read from your port. Good job.



Take care now, keep on writing, I’ll keep on reading,

Jeannie



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .