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Review #4173542
Viewing a review of:
 The fire within  [E]
There comes a time when we all have got to think about ourselves more
by EmpressEjvlana
Review of The fire within  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi, Empress. Nixie, here.


Welcome to WDC from
*BalloonR* "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !*BalloonR*


Overall Impression
Your first sentence brought me to a halt. The originality, the conciseness, the implication, all worked together and carried me forward into the rest of the words.

A few thoughts
The power behind this was inspiring. The metaphoric volcano was a stroke of brilliance. I can't think of the term, but putting contradictory words together is one of my favorite ways to write. I'm referring to:
Your peaceful violence it is ragging [raging] in the depths--

Was this intentional?
you wouldn’t settle down for nothing in the world
Or did you mean to write [anything]? Just asking because it stuck out and took me away from the web you've spun with your words.

This short piece inspired me, and I think you're going to be a strong writer. As I read, it seemed the narrator was dead and encouraging the loved one left behind to move forward. But in the last sentence, the narrator says "We've got stuff to do." That threw me for a loop. I can't factor in a living narrator.

I wouldn't label this as action/adventure. 'Inspirational' as first, and 'Self-help' as second work. Maybe 'personal' as a third choice?

You might want to fix the punctuation in the title.
The Fire Within

Lasting Impression
Ever since the movie "Lord of the Rings" [my precious] brings thoughts of Golem, alone in that cave, hissing.

I liked how this was left open to interpretation, but wondered if something more specific than 'stuff' might create a stronger impact. It would certainly let the reader know if the narrator was dead or alive.

"Don't water dead flowers." Beautiful and haunting words.

Keep writing.




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