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Review #4173735
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Review by Nixie
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Hi, David. Nixie, here. Should I say yuck, or well done? A bit of both.




Overall Impression
The story began with sense of dread. Pained screams in a forest are never good.

You pulled me into Arno's character. At first, I wondered if he was part primate, but that was cleared up with a reference to his boots, and then full confirmation that he was human, or something humanoid. His traipse through the trees was described clearly, and a picture formed in my head. With no precise description of his appearance, I drew from my friendly lot of weird, sometimes supernatural beings who rescue victimized women.

Okay, I'm squeamish and repelled by violence inflicted upon an innocent. But, interestingly enough, I kept on reading. (I skimmed over the most disturbing parts, that's just my way.)

The vivid battle scene played out in my head. You excel at showing the action, and there was quite a bit going on. Arno had to fight and fight hard. His victory, although expected, didn't come easily. You plunked your character into the middle of the fray.

A few thoughts
None of this story revealed anything specific about a time or a place. The reader has to fill in the details using the imagination. We don't know who the characters are, or how this came to happen. I would say this was a slice of a story, or one scene, which is fine. The theme, as explained in your brief description, is timeless.

The first sentence could be tightened. Tranquility is by nature peaceful, so no need to add that in. Rather than [sending a number of birds scattering] you can be more direct by taking out sending. Just a suggestion you're free to ignore.

*Pointright* and scattering a flock of birds from their perches.

Lasting Impression
After all the violence, the calm conclusion was startling and a relief. Arno seemed to genuinely care, even though he didn't want to. That poor, brutalized woman. After saving her, he better make sure nothing else harms her. I actually can't believe I read this.

Since the topic disturbs me, the conclusion is your writing is too engaging to resist. *Checkg*



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