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Review #4176972
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Review by Tiggy
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Rated: | (4.0)
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Hello Paul D

Thank you for entering "Musicology Anthology"  It is my honour to review your offering "Invalid Item"  today. Please keep in mind that any suggestions I make here are just that: suggestions. Pick and choose which ones you like or discard them in their entirety. You and only you can decide what's right for your work. Every writer has an individual style--a unique voice to share with the world, and originality is not only welcome but encouraged.

Per iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen 's instructions, each story can receive up to 100 points. While entries will be judged on creativity, plot, spelling/grammar, and characterization, I believe your ability to abide by the contest's rules is as important as the story itself.

Here is my scoring system: if your story hits the bullseye for any given category, then you will receive ALL of the allotted points for that category. If you miss the mark, you will receive NO points for that category.

The categories are: ▼


*Reading* Overall Impression:
Due to the sheer volume of entries received I am unable to provide you with a detailed review of your work, but I can give you my overall impression.

The short introduction why you chose this album piqued my interest (although I understand that some of it was taken from another website, but I’m referring to your personal introduction.) I can well imagine how music could provide an escape in a situation like this and wondered briefly what form that escape might take. The way you combined the dream or fantasy world with the real one was nicely done; I did wonder in places which was which but I suppose they didn’t have to be clearly defined. I think as a device it worked very well.

The writing was good and I only noticed a few minor spelling errors along the way. It was easy to follow your narrator’s thoughts even as he weaved in and out of the dream world. Some of the chapters seemed a little short and it would have been nice to see you delve a little deeper into those songs because the connection wasn’t immediately clear to me, but overall you did a good job grasping the essence of each song and using that to inspire each piece.



*Calculator* Your Scores: ▼


*Heart* What I Liked Best:
Due to the sheer volume of entries received I am unable to provide you with a detailed review of your work, but I can tell you what I liked best.

The way you weaved the idea of the lyrics into the story was excellent because you ended up with the fantasy girl coming up with a few cryptic lines that made the narrator think and always seemed to applicable to his situation. I also thought you did a good job showing his development through the story. For me, the story could have ended after ‘I’m looking through you’ and the last chapter after that was a bit of a surprise. It seemed that the narrator had made a decision, but as it turned out, it wasn’t the decision I thought he made which made for a very intriguing ending.

My favourite entry was the first one, ‘Drive my car’, because you introduced the concept of the story and the characters, even if later on I (and it seemed, the narrator) wasn’t always sure who was who. The most poignant entry, for me, was ‘If I need someone’ because the narrator’s thoughts about himself were quite difficult to read and felt very real. It was hard to accept that he would have those kinds of feelings at that time – no one should feel that way.

Overall, despite the poignant storyline, it was a good read.


For Judges Musicology Anthology



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