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Review #4176974
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Review by Tiggy
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Rated: | (5.0)
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Hello Satuawany

Thank you for entering "Musicology Anthology"  It is my honour to review your offering "Invalid Item"  today. Please keep in mind that any suggestions I make here are just that: suggestions. Pick and choose which ones you like or discard them in their entirety. You and only you can decide what's right for your work. Every writer has an individual style--a unique voice to share with the world, and originality is not only welcome but encouraged.

Per iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen 's instructions, each story can receive up to 100 points. While entries will be judged on creativity, plot, spelling/grammar, and characterization, I believe your ability to abide by the contest's rules is as important as the story itself.

Here is my scoring system: if your story hits the bullseye for any given category, then you will receive ALL of the allotted points for that category. If you miss the mark, you will receive NO points for that category.

The categories are: ▼


*Reading* Overall Impression:
Due to the sheer volume of entries received I am unable to provide you with a detailed review of your work, but I can give you my overall impression.

I was hooked before I started reading the actually story, just from your introduction. Such a unique way of finding the right album was very intriguing so it was a pleasure to read on and find out how you connected the songs and weaved the tale around them. The story worked very well with the lyrics and there weren’t any entries were I couldn’t see the connection between them.

The concept of the story was very original and I appreciated the details you went into when you described how he travelled from one dimension to another the first time. The setup was quite involved but it all soon became clear when all the different characters were lined up and the narrator travelled from one to the other. The jump between chapters 6 and 7 was nicely done although I didn’t grasp it immediately. You hinted that the chase would continue in the ‘real’ word, in the narrator’s original reality, but because the name Martha was used or mentioned in all the realities, I wasn’t sure if this one was the real one for a moment.


*Calculator* Your Scores: ▼


*Heart* What I Liked Best:
Due to the sheer volume of entries received I am unable to provide you with a detailed review of your work, but I can tell you what I liked best.

I liked the narrator and the way he went about this quest to find his daughter. He was vulnerable, he wasn’t sure if he could achieve his goal but nothing could have stopped him from trying. You also did a great job describing the character in the other realities, finding something that connected them or set them apart.

The writing was excellent; I spotted a couple of minor errors while I was reading but nothing big. There were some excellent descriptions that I thought were particularly well done, for example this one,

The presence of the child makes me wish for a heartbeat I could feel speeding up, a set of lungs with which I could gasp.

which showed both the narrator’s emotions at the time and reiterated the limitations of his situation. There was also a measure of sadness at the end when he found her and realised the reason why she didn’t want to go back. It made my heart go out to both of them.

Overall, I thought this was a great story and you did a good job with the challenge.


For Judges Musicology Anthology



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