*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4193482
Review #4193482
Viewing a review of:
 
Hello  [E]
Contest entry for 'Tweet me a story'.
by C. Auguste Dupin
Review of Hello  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Welcome to WDC Auguste! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! This unique piece popped up on the Random Read Page. *Delight*

Wow! This is a rather short story line and I wonder if it is the beginning of a longer one to come. Yet, it evokes a lot of ideas as one reads. We do not know why he is tearing up and the word "again" gives clues to an idea that perhaps it is along lost father, or maybe he has alzheimer's.

The tag line says they sit for a conversation so I wonder if you might use actual dialogue instead of telling us he "introduced.." showing it. *Wink*

The action in the first phrase drew me in and made me curious as to why he "wiped his eyes"! Good hook!

I'd like to know more if there is more, and if not, it was still fun to enter my own story into that frame work. It is evocative. *Star* It is rather hard to rate as it seems incomplete.


Thanks for sharing your first tidbit at WDC! Carry on and have fun. *Smile*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/04/2016 @ 11:29am EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4193482