Hello Freziie . How are you doing? My name's Charlie and I'm here to welcome you to WDC with a review of your poem, "Trees In Fall" . Let me know if you need any help navigating the site!

I chose to read this poem because who doesn't like the trees in fall? There's something so inspirational about that time of year and I think you captured that really well with this piece. I like the way you describe the setting using all of your senses. I feel like I can smell the leaves and dirt and feel the breeze whipping the leaves around. It's great that you can see the value in nature and use it while writing your poetry.

One thing I noticed is that there were no line breaks in this poem. Now, I'm a huge proponent of line breaks because I think it helps you as the writer determine the flow for which the reader reads the poem. There's a difference between reading:

The trees in fall, they surround me. Weeping their leaves into the ongoing sea below them.

And reading:

The trees in fall, they surround me.
Weeping their leaves into the ongoing sea below them.

And even more of a difference between those two and:

The trees in fall,
they surround me.
Weeping their leaves
into the ongoing sea below them.

I think it might be something that you could play around with a bit. Other than that, the double words used throughout were slightly distracting to me. "falling down, down" "trees, these aspen trees" "with spark, sparks" etc...

Other than those things, I think you captured this scene well and it was an enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing with us. See you around!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .