Hello THANKFUL SONALI Now What?,

my name is Tiggy and I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering! Please bear in mind that my comments and suggestions are only my opinion. Other reviewers might see it differently.


That was quite a heart-warming tale. I don’t usually assume that first-person stories are necessarily personal but since you used your own name in the tale, I think this one probably was. It must have been quite an experience to find that the spiritual teacher knew all along what was in your heart, and it says a lot about him that he didn’t make a fuss about it. He could have singled you out at the gatherings or spoken to you in private, but he chose to do neither and simply accepted it as it was.

It would have been interesting to know what happened later, or perhaps in between the two events. I got the impression that by the end of the story, your opinion had changed, but I wasn’t sure how that had happened. Since this seemed to be a formative experience that led to your beliefs, the opportunity is there to expand on it. As you said, at the time you didn’t believe, but the experience is clearly still in your mind and I was curious to find out how it continued.

I liked how you described your relationship with your family and the difference between how your parents understood the situation and how your grandmother perceived it. Your conflict was quite obvious and you showed it well. The structure worked well to show how the story developed, from the initial lunch to years later, and it didn’t feel rushed. Just, like I said, perhaps a bit more explanation what happened between or after might have been useful for clarification.

The dialogue worked well to show the readers a bit about the characters’ personalities. Personally, I would have liked more descriptions of the setting. You described the lunch really well but I struggled to picture it because there wasn’t much in the way of the scene itself. Even a bit about the layout might help – where did this take place, someone’s house or a hall since there were quite a few people there? Anything to help the readers get a clearer image might be useful.

I noticed a couple of typos near the beginning but after that, I was engrossed in the story and stopped looking. I enjoyed the read.





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .