Hello David the Dark one!,

my name is Tiggy and I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering! Please bear in mind that my comments and suggestions are only my opinion. Other reviewers might see it differently.


A fascinating story! You piqued my interest with the title – I immediately wondered if it could possibly be the Archangel you were referring to – and the tale that followed didn’t disappoint. The story had a dreamlike quality and I wondered if in the end, the main character would wake up and realise that’s what it was. The angel made his points frighteningly well, although I struggled a little to see exactly how it was shaping the other character’s faith or what he would take away from this encounter. The angel knew that the character had questions about religion, but you left it open if any of the angry speech actually helped him in any way to find some answers. What I would have liked to see was a bit of a conclusion – instead of simply leaving, you could explain what the character did next and how it changed his views, if at all.

I could understand the angel’s struggles and his conflict was quite compelling. The other character was a little less clear and again, I think this is something you could expand on. For example, what prompted him to want to know more about religion in the first place? It would help to flesh out the character and make the readers understand more about his background.

The way you structured the story worked well. The beginning was quite vague and it took a few paragraphs for the readers to figure out what was going on, but then it flowed nicely. The dialogue, or rather, the angel’s monologue and the way the other character reacted to it, was interesting and the angel’s character certainly came across. I would imagine that in a situation like this, the other character would have some stronger reactions than the ones he showed, although, going back to my opening comment about this story reading a little like a dream, that might not necessarily be the case.

There was sufficient description to imagine the scene and more wasn’t really necessary as the main story was told through the angel’s rant. I did notice quite a few errors and if you were to edit this story now that the contest is over, you might want to watch out for misspelled words and the occasional missing apostrophe.

Overall, I though the story was very intriguing and I enjoyed the read.





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .