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Review #4213090
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Review by Nixie
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Rated: | (4.0)
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Hi Quo. Nixie, here. *Bigsmile*

Welcome to WDC from
*BalloonR* "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !*BalloonR*


First off, I have to say you gave the reader exactly what you promised in the brief description. This helped me understand the read, otherwise, I might have been overly confused.

But it's difficult to evaluate a story when there's so little content. What is here had me laughing, though. It was all so bizarre and impossible, and related in such a dry manner, I thought the dialogue was quite clever.

For this bit of dialogue, you only needed a sketch of a setting, which you accomplished by using the back and forth banter. Well done!

Alwyn's intentions seemed genuine to her. But once we hear her husband's side of the story, the reader is made aware that she's kind of oblivious. Or she chooses to see the world in her unique way, completely innocent of inconsistencies. Good grief, the work she claims to have done was paid for by the man's misfortune?

What happened must have been kept secret if she was able to sell the slipper. For some reason, I pictured a small community, a place where atrocities accidents like this would be told and retold.

I thought she was so tender when she mentioned saying I'm sorry according to his parents suggestions. She seemed especially eager to please. Honestly, I liked her.

It took me a few reads before I realized the significance of the last statement. If she made the magical stockings, she must have made the slipper, as well. Since this is fantasy, there's really no need to explain how this was possible. *Checkg*

One oops that detracted from the story. In so many sentences, the ending punctuation is missing. Missing commas also detracted from the read. Here's one example.

...Oh Alwyn say you did!"
...Oh, Alwyn, say you did!"

The odd names and mention of a widow reinforced the fantastical element. A sentence structure I found of interest.

"You paid the widow Drumness for our house..."

At first (silly me) I thought the widow built the house. But what the husband means is the villa was purchased by the wife from the widow. I'm mentioning this because I like seeing different sentence structures, and this one struck me as noteworthy.

Overall, I enjoyed this quirky read. Keep on writing! *Bigsmile*




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