OVERVIEW:
         I didn't find much to critique in this piece. I liked it all around. It's well written, it has a cool premise, I never felt like the plot was moving too quickly or too slowly, and I liked all the characters. The lore seems to all be well thought out and constructed. The casual tone of the narration is also fantastic.

It seems strange that Ade goes from asking what happened to Jaced's mother to knowing she was murdered, then further on down the line knowing by who and why. I also think this maybe giving out too much all at once. You might be better off to leave it a mysterious forces that you can use to string the reader along. You could even maintain a possibility that it was just an accident for a little while.

As far as "a hook" goes it got me. I'd read more.

PLOT:
         I liked this concept of an imaginary world that turns out to be the real deal. It allows for the protagonist to thrown into a crazy new reality, without being completely lost. On top of that you have the stakes set with the possible destruction of everything and the crumbling inter dimensional walls.

You set-up some good questions in the reader's mind in regards to Faye; how she originally ended up in Kyria, what was special about her, and so forth.

As I stated before, I don't know if giving so much away so quickly about Faye's death is a best route. I think you could maintain the mystery a little longer, and build it to a bigger reveal. Just my opinion.

CHARACTERS:
Jaced
Honestly, I don't really dig the name. I couldn't tell you why precisely. Maybe I'm just too used to Jace, and my brain keeps trying to make it that. Maybe I feel like it's a name in past-tense which feels strange to me. Whatever the case it doesn't actually matter.

As far as important stuff goes, I dig any character down to head-butt a giant snake god. He's also has a touch of a unlikable quality to him, which offers an opportunity for growth. It's just the contentiousness of a teenager really, which is fitting.

Ade
I really like this character as well. The contrast of immense power and strange appearance with human qualities. The mumbling under the breathe after being separated by Tabir illustrated this idea perfectly.

SPELLING and GRAMMAR:
No one could find anything that said it wasn't an accident!