Hello QueenElizabeth . My name's Charlie and I'm here to welcome you to WDC with a review of your poem, "Invalid Item" . Thanks for sharing your writing with us and giving us a chance to review. Let m know if you need any help around the site.

This is a cute little poem about all the things a person might think to do right before they die. Too bad they waste that entire last hour thinking instead of actually doing anything. I think this is so true for life in general. People spend so much time talking about things they might do someday, but most of them don't actually ever do them. Of course, these aren't things that can easily be down anyway, for the most part. I mean, anyone can ride a hot air balloon or go on a rollercoaster, but winning the lottery or solving poverty? That's a big ticket item right there!

My main issue with poem is the flow, really. The rhyming pattern remains AABBCC... throughout, but some parts just don't flow as well as others. Take the following for example:

Let's go bungee!

Mud fight and get all grungey.

This part definitely rhymes, but when read in context with the other lines, it doesn't have the same flow. I think it's because those first few rhymes were super tight, quick punches and then we're hit with these longer ones that disrupt the flow.

Overall, I think this is a fun idea for a poem. Of course, the ending was funny. Thanks again for sharing with us!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .