%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4214708 |
 | She's Gone  [E] The desperation of being left behind by the one you love  |
| (4.5)| Hi Tricia It's been a pleasure to review your "She's Gone" on behalf of "SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" .My review is just my opinion.  Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  Overall impression?I'm not sure how to express myself about what I just read, you left me with jaw dropped. This is for sure a twist I didn't expect at all and your story works very well as flash fiction. I don't know how you will feel if I tell you that you made me laugh because I'm not sure you wanted the reader feel like laughing since your genre is not comedy but drama. I think you did great job with your main character, you weren't specific about him, he had both, human and animal characteristics, and all the time he was uncertain until the very end which kept me interested in reading this writing. I realized that something happened and the guy turned to be a dog somehow but I'm not sure how because there's no explanation for that part. However, I'm satisfied completely with what you have here, that's the beauty of flash fiction. Suggestions?I mentioned above that you made me laugh at the end of the story because I realized your main character was a dog, though your description at the beginning of the story is heartwrecking. After I reread it again I realized the dog was a human before and that's what made me confused about the whole thing here. I wasn't sure how to feel about it later. Maybe this is just me, I don't know, but that genre unspecificity bugs me a little and it's probably because I only know this part of the story. It started really emotionally and it finished with: "No, don't worry about it. I love dogs...". I felt as if you wanted to make some kind of joke, that's why I laughed. My suggestion would be maybe small indication at the beginning that your character WAS a human so the reader can lean on that thought and not feel like: 'Ohh, hahah, what a twist' at the end. I'll remind you again that this is just my opinion and how I felt while reading your writing. Things I liked the most?I liked the fact that you managed to combine animal's and human's characteristics so the reader don't really know what is going on until the end, but what I wasn't expecting is how the ending will make me feel. I think you did great job with all characters, your description of feelings was also nice, the way you described memory of this woman and how she smelled. Overall I think it's great reading. Thank you so much for sharing it with us here  . Advice for newbies On the left side of your portfolio there are 'Browse by type' and 'Browse by genre' tabs. Whenever you get the chance click to any of these and see what's going on around the site, read the others and check out some contests and activities that we have here. Under 'Browse by type' tab you will find forums items. It will show you list of all contests and activities when you click to it. Find the one that suits you the most or try yourself in something new. By entering contests you'll improve your own writing and you'll meet other mindlike people. Review the others in return. Reviewing is great way to improve your own writing skills and you will also spotlight your own writing portfolio here in Writing.Com by getting involved within community. Check out Guidelines To Great Reviewing from Writing.Com 101 ~Minja~ Founder of "Invalid Item" Resident host at "Invalid Item"  Be courageous and try to write in a way that scares you a little  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You responded to this review 05/09/2016 @ 5:05pm EDT