Hello, jeffadkins, and good afternoon It's going to rain soon.

This is the review request that you made for this item. I confess that I know next to nothing about poetry and its forms, so I'll will rate this based on how well it read to me. I rated it with four stars because it read smooth and had no obvious errors. Here's the link to my rating and reviewing policies for your reference: "Bobbi's Rating and/or Reviewing Policy" .


The typos and grammar issues I caught were as follows:

All obeisance to their will, shall ever be man’s calling I learned a new word today! Awesome.

Lots of commas, I see, which I think are for the sake of style separation. Some of these would not be necessary under prose circumstances (thanks, Comma Sense!) but this is poetry and I'm not certain of what the writer can get away with for the sake of style here, so I'll leave it at that.


A few things I noticed as a reader:

This poem reminds me a great deal of my Neo-Pagan days and some of the community that held a hard feminine superiority view of the divine. I can't say that I hold this view, and what drew me to the Neo-Pagan community is the view that others took of the equal-gender divine. Some symbolized this through a transgendered divine while others separated the symbols into a God and a Goddess. Outside of Neo-Paganism, some representations of Shiva in Hinduism show the divine as either transgendered or as a masculine consort to a Goddess (I don't remember which) or some other female symbol. This was another aspect to the divine I was drawn to.

Personally, the dual-gendered point of view feels more balanced and fair, but what we are talking about here is how we view the world spiritually. This poem celebrates the feminine as equal to Godliness itself, even going so far as seeing women themselves as candidates of worship. I'm not sure how most modern women would react to this view, and I myself feel weird and uncomfortable being worshiped, but this is your point of view and the language makes it clear.

Thank you for allowing me to review your piece. I'm just another reader and writer so use or discard any of my suggestions at your personal discretion. If you make changes and would like me to reassess your piece, feel free to e-mail me.

Keep writing and keep improving!

—Brandi