Review number # 7 of week 4/28-5/4

Hi Matt

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: A Considered Rebuttal

First Impression: I was surprised to see this because rebuttals are not a common occurrence here on WDC.

What I liked: I see you invested time to address each issue, I wish I had seen the first piece so I could have read it together but it is now invalid.

What needs your attention: There are some fragmented sentences and places where the response is abrupt and could be made into a smoother flowing sentence.
"Well, that seems to show Darwin didn't like his theory. Well read on:
When it was first said that the sun stood still and the world turned round, the common sense of mankind declared the doctrine false; but the old saying of vox populi, vox dei, as every philosopher knows, cannot be trusted in science. Reason tells me, that if numerous gradations from a simple and imperfect eye to one complex and perfect can be shown to exist, each grade being useful to its possessor, as is certainly the case; if further, the eye ever varies and the variations be inherited, as is likewise certainly the case and if such variations should be useful to any animal under changing conditions of life, then the difficulty of believing that a perfect and complex eye could be formed by natural selection, though insuperable by our imagination, should not be considered as subversive of the theory."
This particular paragraph is an example of abruptness that could be fixed easily with less run on sentences and simple word changes. Like for instance. Well, that seems to show Darwin didn't like his theory. Leaving out well read on because well is repetitive and not really a sentence. When it was first said, the sun stood still and the world turned round man's common sense declared the doctrine false. The old saying of vox populi and vox dei as every philosopher knows cannot be trusted in science.
Anyway, food for thought to make your rebuttal stronger and feel less of a rant.

Favorite Parts: I enjoyed reading the points raised and the reasoning behind each, clearly you put time into your response.

Overall Impression: Interesting read to a difficult topic that will never be totally resolved in our lifetime.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .