Hello, Icanterbareback , and good afternoon.

I found this piece on the Review Request board. The only special request was to be nice, and I will do that the best I can .

The poem read clear to me and had few errors, which is why I rated it with four stars. Here's a link to my rating and reviewing policies: "Bobbi's Rating and/or Reviewing Policy" . If you have any questions about your review or rating, please feel free to email me.


The typos and grammar issues I caught were as follows:

look up at the night sky but continuing I took out the semicolon because what follows the semicolon is a clause connected to a phrase with a conjunction, and you are not separating lists with the semicolon, so neither a semicolon or even a comma is needed here. Fussy, I know.

What i I once loved is now what I hate.


A few things I noticed as a reader:

As I mentioned in my Review Request description, I know very little about the many forms of poetry. This read to me, however, as a sort of free form poetry. In fact, for most of the poem it read as a list of things: some were moments, some were things, some still were ideas and feelings. It read light and lovely and the end caught me off guard to take a turn toward bitter and tragic. I'm not sure what to think of that, but it did have an effect on me, and I feel like that's what you were going for. All and all, this is a solid effort. Good job.

Thank you for allowing me to review your piece. I'm just another reader and writer so use or discard any of my suggestions at your personal discretion. If you make changes and would like me to reassess your piece, feel free to e-mail me.

Keep writing and keep improving!

—Brandi