Hello Sam Gutierrez . Welcome to WDC. I'm Charlie. Thanks for sharing your writing with us. I hope this review finds you well. Let me know if you need a hand around the site.


Title/General Thoughts/Subject Matter: I read this piece first because I thought the title was interesting, like a clip of a conversation that probably started the relationship. I will say that you need to be careful with the rating. You have it set to E for everyone right now, but the description and the item itself don't follow guidelines for an e-rating. Here is are the guidelines so you can check them out: "Writing.Com 101" 


What Worked: You did a good job describing the feeling of missing someone. I think we've all been here, wondering how the other person could have possible just stopped caring. Guys are strange creatures though. Sometimes they care and are just good at acting like they don't. Of course, I don't know this relationship or anything about it, but I do know how much unrequited love can hurt. I hope it was cathartic for you to get these feelings out. Sometimes it's good to just rant and explain how dreadful it is to have to miss someone all the time and be left with so many questions.


Technical Issues/Suggestions: This is bordering on "wall of text" in that there aren't any paragraph or line breaks throughout. There were a couple grammatical errors. Simple things like a lowercase i or lack of comma. I noticed that this is listed as a poem in terms of what the item is, but I'm not really getting a poetry vibe from this. It seems to me more like a nonfiction stream of thought. There isn't the structure or poetic devices that we typically associate with a poem. (Even free verse is a structure!) I think this piece could be played around with and rewritten as a poem that will also get the point across and convey more emotion, if that's the route you want to take it.


Final Thoughts: I hope you're feeling better soon and not getting too down about this dude. There will be more guys and all that jazz that you don't wanna hear, I promise. Anyway, thanks again for sharing your work with us and don't hesitate to ask if you have general site questions.


Best wishes,





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .