Hello Annabelle Flint . Welcome to WDC! I'm Charlie. Thanks for sharing your writing with us. I hope this review finds you well. Let me know if you need help getting around the site.


Title/General Thoughts/Subject Matter: I read this story because the one-word title got my attention, along with the description. Who doesn’t like a good crime story? Because this story is so short and you’ve listed it as a contest genre, I’m going to run on the assumption that it was for a 100-word story contest of some sort. Correct me if I’m wrong.


What Worked: I think you set the scene well. The first sentence hooked me and I liked the idea of the narrator being able to tell that the mysterious man had been there just by smelling his brand of cigarettes. It appears that the narrator is stepping into some sort of interrogation room after years of hunting for the subject of his hit. There’s a warning as well at the end that there are other hitmen who might finish the job. It leaves some suspense even at the very end. Cool!


Technical Issues/Suggestions: I think the issue with this story is the choice of subject for the word limit. It’s so extremely difficult to write a full story in less than 100 words. A full story being a beginning, middle, and end. This read as an excerpt from a much longer piece. There are some clarity issues toward the middle. I had to read it twice to understand that the narrator was in fact in a police station. I think with this subject and this story line, you would just need so many more words to get a full story out of it.


Final Thoughts: Overall, I think this would make for an awesome longer piece. I hope you choose to expand on it at some point, if you haven’t already. Thanks again for sharing with us!


Best wishes,





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .