Hello Tim Chiu . I'm Charlie. Thanks for sharing your writing with us. I hope this review finds you well.


Title/General Thoughts/Subject Matter: I found your poem using the "Read & Review" button. The title was definitely a good attention-getter. I've never really thought of a tomato zooming before, but after reading that it was a cherry tomato, it all makes sense. Those little things are the most evasive of all salad toppings.


What Worked: I thought the ending was really sweet. The simplicity of the friendship and the way the co-workers reflect together against the mundane nature of work was quite lovely, and well-written at that. My favorite part was the absurdity and humor they felt from the way the tomato left a stain on the table. I would have been laughing too, had I been there. I also liked the way they started trying to figure out the trajectory, speed, and velocity based on the watery streak it had left behind. I'm in school now and I feel like my classmates and I always find random real-life situations to apply our math/science knowledge to- mostly inappropriate or absurd situations.


Technical Issues/Suggestions: There were some really good lines when describing the salad itself and the way it was packaged. They felt quite poetic and all. I thought a lot of the other lines were too... casually written? In that it didn't read poetically. The writing was a bit stiff, especially in the beginning where the lines felt like full sentences:

I stroll into the medium-sized lunchroom
For fresh-brewed coffee at a quarter past noon
To find my spirited co-worker preparing

I think if you play around with these parts, the poem could begin more poetically, which would ultimately prove to be a better hook.


Final Thoughts: Overall, I loved the randomness and absurdity of this poem. I think some of the writing was a bit stiff, but it was a good read. Thanks again for sharing!


Best wishes,




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .