Hello! I am the poetry judge for the "Invalid Item" . I try to provide each entry with some feedback. This review is for your benefit only and does not necessarily have implications for placement in the contest, as it is not a comparison with any other entry.

Favorite Aspects

The mix of long and short lines works well here. It flows well, and it works in the "time enough" context too.

Language / Word Choice

Honestly, if I never hear the words "time enough" again, it will be too soon. There is overuse, and then there is this poem. No offense meant here, but too much is too much. The entire poem becomes monotonous and tedious in a hurry because it is just used over and over and over and over and over and over.

27 times. Reading "Time enough" 27 times was exhausting. I would definitely consider placing them a bit more wisely... more deliberate and thoughtful. A refrain is not a substitute for structure.

I do actually like the rest of some of these lines. The second stanza is the strongest, by far. Nice word choice in that section.

Effect

I like the general theme here. I think that some of your word choice is nice. The flow is alright. The piece has a whole lot going for it. If you took out at least 20 of those "Time enough"s, it would immediately be a much stronger piece. I am very sensitive to repetition, as some readers are, and I just can't get past it.





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .