Hello girlinwhite!

I saw that you were looking for some reviews for this piece of yours. There is some good imagery in here but with the wording it sometimes comes out a little more clunky/jumbled. So, that's what I'm going to work on helping you with the areas where I feel like it can be reworded a little. I hope this review is helpful for you.

Below is my review of your item beginning with Corrections:

Corrections/Suggestions
And The way the sun was casting it's glow on it now, every petal and every vein in them were boasting these shades of pink that you have just she had never seen before..-

I reworded this some to create a smoother sentence but I might still recommend playing around with it. I know what you're trying to say with this, but it comes out a little more jumbled.

It stood straight and tall exuding its confidence, knowing that no one could deny its alluring beauty. It The rose seemed to soak up the warmth of the sun and wear it like a magic cloak.-

Okay, you have some good imagery going on here and good descriptions. Some little technical things is it's needs to be fixed as its. And, just a small suggestion for replacing It in the second sentence just so it doesn't become too repetitive.

She had left her footprints in it.... And with that still wore some scars from the thorns she came upon throughout her journey.-

But She could look at them the thorns now and remember how each one only made her stronger once they healed. And inside..she could recall how each had touched her heart and made her who she was today.-

Again, nice imagery and metaphor of the rose being a symbol of her own life and what she has been through. I just did a little rewording with it as a suggestion, such as replacing "them" with "the thorns" since that thorns are a little more powerful of an image that she is left with these pricks, cuts, from the thorns in life.


Things Which I Enjoyed
You do have some good imagery going on here but you can definitely expand this piece to a larger one. Who is Mr. Frost that is mentioned in the last line? Is he a teacher, a lover, etc? How old is this woman? Is she a girl, a teenager, or is she an old woman looking back on her life to see that even a rose can remind her of her beauty? Personally, when I imagined the female in this I thought of an older woman looking at this rose. She feels like she has wilted, and that she doesn't hold the beauty in her former years. As she looks at this rose she's reminded that she is just as beautiful as it. And the thorns on it remind her of her own thorns she's met in life.

Overall Comments
Overall, this is a good start but I think you should expand it because from what I've read it seems like you have more you could say. Referencing Mr. Frost at the end just made me want to ask who he was in relation to her? And, obviously, he's an important figure for her to think of what he said and to find such beauty in a common, perfect rose. Your descriptions you have provide some good, strong imagery in parts of this. I hope that you will expand this piece of yours and add more to it. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing! =D



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .