Hello gozt. Welcome to WDC! I'm Charlie. Thanks for sharing your writing with us. I hope this review finds you well.


Title/General Thoughts/Subject Matter: I like the idea of writing a poem based off of a dream. Dreams can be a good source of inspiration. This also sounds like it's about a past relationship and how things have changed. The relationship doesn't necessarily have to be with a person though, it could easily be about a relationship with depression. That's what I took away from it, anyway.


What Worked: There was a tone to this poem that was a bit nostalgic and I liked that a lot. Sort of a sadness to it, even though the end was a lot more inspirational and a story of the road to recovery. I think the idea of the "blue ghost" works well with the mood of the poem and the imagery. The idea of irises in the last two lines pulled it together well because irises are also blue. It seemed like there was a thoughtful theme there.

My favorite lines were the last ones:

Now Irises have flourished from my skull
You are gone and my heart has gotten full

I loved that it ended on a positive note and the more I read it, the more I think that it could be about a mental illness.


Technical Issues/Suggestions: There are some strong lines here, but there are some that I think could definitely be edited. For example, the first two lines aren't a very good hook for the poem. They make it sound like the poem is about a typical relationship that has been broken up and the writing itself is quite straightforward:

I do not care if I ever see you again
I used to make you extremely happy

It might just be a taste thing on my part, but I tend to like a little more in the way of poetic language. I think the depth of language can make a reader feel a lot more. The first stanza seems a bit disconnected from the rest of the poem to me though. The beginning seems like the standard ex-relationship, but then there's the introduction of the 'Blue Ghost,' which seems like something else entirely.

I'm not sure what's going on with the random capitalization of some words in the poem. Like 'Blue' being capitalized, but 'ghost' not being capitalized. 'You' is capitalized once and not again. 'Irises' is capitalized as well where it doesn't need to be.


Final Thoughts: Overall, I thought this poem was interesting and a good idea behind it. I think there could be an edit on some of the lines to give them stronger language. Thanks again for sharing!


Best wishes,





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .