*Magnify*
◄     December     ►
1969
SMTWTFS
 
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
Archive RSS
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4226961
Review #4226961
Viewing a review of:
 Invalid Item  []

by A Guest Visitor
         Review for entry/chapter: "Invalid Entry" 
Review by ~Minja~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: GC | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Charlie ~
It's been a pleasure to review your "Invalid Entry"  on behalf of "SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" 
My review is just my opinion.


*Starb* Overall impression?

I remembered this poem only now when I read it again. It was a nice refreshment of memory because, when I read it first time you wrote it, I was confused.. as always. Just now I see clear picture. I love some inner rhyme in opening lines (you-do), followed by beautiful image (wrapped between the sheets and me). It feels so romantic. "Tongue dancing over the pen cap" adds a lot to that scene as well. I especially love "spiderweb of ink" like.. I'd never even thought about to express it that way. It's so smart. "You don't wake for the sun rising in the east".. I remember having ordinary thoughts about a person who is on opposite side of the world but when I read poem now it speaks to me as if you wanted to refer to east side of the bed? Dunno if I'm mistaken because italic lines are still confusing to me and this part is still some kind of mystery.

I love that you have that specific writing style and mentioned it here (crossed t and dotted i). You have great observation of situation and things around and the best is that you turn it into poetry. That's what I love about your writing and sometimes I'm like.. I'd be afraid to make a movement in your near, afraid that it might not be something you like and you'd write about it. Silly me haha.

The last part is always repeating mood and tone when you're writing about J. It has to be little bit dramatic. I like the beginning of the last stanza. It makes me feel like we all live in that imagery world where everything is how we want it. And of course the ending is just j like. Thanks for sharing your writing with me. All smiles.. *Smile*


~Minja~
Founder of "WdC Kind Hearts" 
Resident host at "Once Upon a Jane Austen Activity" 
*Pencil* Be courageous and try to write in a way that scares you a little *Pencil*
Minja Simply Positive review sig

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 06/20/2016 @ 12:55pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4226961