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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4227096
Review #4227096
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         Review for entry/chapter: "Invalid Entry" 
Review by ~Minja~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: GC | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Charlie ~
It's been a pleasure to review your "Invalid Entry"  on behalf of "SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" .
My review is just my opinion.



*Starb* Overall impression?

I remember when you wrote this poem. It was when you were doing GI 100 challenge and asked in newsfeed for words so you can use them in your title or something. I suggested lilt and ingenue and told you I wanna call this poem mine *Bigsmile*. Anyway, this reminds me of your mom or grandma maybe. It's about a woman and her garden so I thought about them.

In this poem your line breaks are crazy to me. It feels like you cut the word in a half. You probably don't read it like that, I dunno, but visually is different from your other poetry.

*Flagp* she sings her calming lilt of
innocence, moving between
rows of her garden in white
lace, feeling the velvety petals
of her roses, shifting her lithe
fingers gracefully around the
sharp thorns of their stems.

Line breaks comes naturally I guess, at least to me. It probably wouldn't even sound like a poem if you had full sentences in one line or something. I just found it outstanding in this single poem of yours.

Imagery is very nice, something I'm not used to read from you. I'm glad my words inspired you in this direction. I can almost smell fragrance of flora and see her walking around the garden, admiring her gardening skills. I don't have any suggestions for improvement. As always, you captured one moment in life very well. Thank you for sharing your writing with me. All smiles..*Smile*.

~Minja~
Founder of "WdC Kind Hearts" 
Resident host at "Once Upon a Jane Austen Activity" 
*Pencil* Be courageous and try to write in a way that scares you a little *Pencil*
Minja Simply Positive review sig

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 06/27/2016 @ 2:04am EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4227096