The Horror of Melza Wood [18+] A young paladin is sent out to investigate evil doings in a forest far from the throne. |
Hello there! I am reviewing your story as a judge for the
Thanks for entering! Wow, where to begin? I felt exhausted, as if I were in a battle for my life. Which makes for a good action/adventure, story. It plays well right into the May prompt of "Fantasy." I felt a bit of creepiness, as when watching Game of Thrones, and the White Walkers appear with a vengeance. Steely eyes, or a mystical blue, they get the hairs standing behind the neck. The story had that video-game pull to it, where I could picture Avatars doing what needed to be done to further their steps, and defy defeat. Interesting mixture of fright, fight and innocence being trapped into a monstrous plan. Observations: "When the King heard of little children being gathered up off the streets of one of his towns and carted out to Melza wood" Wood "Once its task [was] completed, it walked past her, out of her line-of-sight." It's a story that a reader needs to pay close attention to while reading it, because one could get a bit lost. There was so much going on all around her, sort of an "orderly chaos," if that dichotomy makes any sense. A complicated plot, interesting characters -- perhaps too much packed into a tight word count, contest, leaving the reader with some questions. I could see this as a novella, thus giving more time to developing the characters and back story. However, for the purposes of this contest, the shortened version is what can be expected. Well done! Good luck with the contest, and again, thanks for entering! Regards, Web~Witch
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