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Review #4230590
Viewing a review of:
 The First of Seeing  [E]
The universe explodes into existence--the big bang and other moments of creation.
by L.L. Zern
Review by Kit
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi L.L. Zern ,

This review is a part of "Game of Thrones [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is an interesting, layered poem, dear author. The beginning and growth of the universe, combined with individual learning and growing, and the journey of learning to use letters and words.

I like the imagery in this poem. It speaks of creation, both in the universal sense and the literary sense. It shows me how creation isn't a done thing - it's constant - and I like that, because it's true.

On the technical side of things - this poem reads well. I had no problems with the rhythm and flow, and I enjoyed your use of wording. Well done.

Suggestions:

I do have some suggestions, dear author. They aren't to do with the content of the poem - more about the presentation.

*Snow2* I would suggest removing the line spaces within the stanzas, and the big spaces between the stanzas. The reason for this is that it would make the poem easier on the eye, and easier to read - less scrolling.

*Snow2* I also suggest allowing the capitalisation at the beginning of each line to depend on the individual sentences within the piece. This would make sense, as you make good use of punctuation, and it aids the overall clarity and reading experience.

My Rating:

I enjoyed this poem. It's clever and well-written.

I did have some suggestions. None, however, are about the actual content of the item. For that reason, I will still give your item a 5 out of 5. It deserves it.

Thank you for sharing your work, and write on!

Kit

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/02/2016 @ 7:48pm EDT
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