Hi Lina Black-So Far Behind!!! ,

A "Game of Thrones"  House Martell Review!

Title:

I really enjoy reading micro-fiction, and I just love horror stories, so a micro piece titled "Haunted House" was sure to attract my attention.

First impression:

This is a nice piece of flash fiction you've written. When writing sub-100 word horror you don't have the luxury of setting a scene, of building tension, or of setting up false plots to trip up your readers. It's a case of simply "here's the horror", and you've nailed that bit.

General impressions:

You've done a good job of introducing the scene of the "trick or treaters". The scene is brief and the ending comes at just the right time. The reader is not left asking "now what?" - they can imagine what happens from your ending, and there is only one logical thing that is happening.

There is enough going on plot wise in the story, for it be classed as a story. You have dialogue happening (which puts the story in some sort of context) and you have an ending. There's no beginning in the traditional sense, it's more like a middle, but it is the beginning of this scene.

Suggestion:

There is one minor thing.

You wrote Then, "What the-", .

The hyphen here should be an em dash. When you end speech abruptly, it's always with an em dash.

Closing remarks:

An enjoyable piece of micro-fiction, and I'm glad to have stumbled across it.

Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On!


Andy~hating university




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .