Hi Damas , I found your writing in the newsletter. Hopefully this review will find you in good spirit.


On Title/Subject
Marked for death is an excellent title, it covers the story to a tee The subtitle is even better, it gives an impression on the piece that is tantalizing. Is the word 'was' in the subtitle wrongly used here? If you lose it it becomes even better I think.


General impressions
Wow, what a great, great and horrifyingly good story this is. Your writing style is very appealing and it is an easy write. Your description on the agonizing process of sickness and death is astonishing well written. The characters are very well developed for a piece of this length.

It made me almost sick to the stomach, but in a good way. It is a totally unique piece of writing with a clear and beautiful authentic voice. I loved reading it.

Favorite Part
Day after day her skin began to rot more and more, a putrid smell filling the house. It was like she had been decomposing, skin and flesh melting away. She would still scream, for hours. Each day she became worse. Her human features began to dissolve and fall away. Her hair was gone, the muscle beneath her long gone skin making her look terrifying and ghoulish. Black tinted blood oozed from every orifice. The second stage was sickening, decomposition.

It is the description of a terrifyingly dark and sinister process and the heart of your story on the X-marked thirteen year old sister of the main character. I could see, hear and smell the rotting of the human body. It was way out!

Final thoughts
All in all a very good read and a more than excellent write. This is a horror story to be set among the best. Well done!

Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

WakeUpAndLive