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Review #4238662
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by A Guest Visitor
Review by ~ Aqua ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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*Shield6* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield6*
A Review from "SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" 


Hello, Jacob Risenhoover ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.


*Castlegr* Why I chose to review this work: I was searching for something to review from your portfolio for WDC Game of Thrones war when I came across this story and decided to read it. The long title and the interesting short description you had provided the reader made me curious and intrigued to know why and how she ended up in a place, a town where she doesn't belong and who broke the window. To get answers for all these rising questions, here I am reading your story.

*Castleright* First Impression: What an interesting story you have here! There so much action, thriller and suspense going on as well as a bit of a comedy, amusing touch in it as well. I must say I was kind of worried and scared to think about what might the insect like creatures might do to the couple, maybe they are like hostile alien or something like that but it was nice to see them fighting each other instead of attacking the couple. But still, it does raise questions in the reader's mind like why are they there in the first place and why they are fighting with each other.

*Castlegr* Setting/Plot: The plot and the setting you have in your story was quite unique and easy to follow. The setting of a town where Jane isn't the most liked person and how she is living with her husband was good. Although it raised questions in the reader's mind but they were ignored as the reader progressed further into your story.

*Castleleft* Characters: The character of Jane and Roy seem like a funny couple, likeable couple and so does Jane's character which leaves the reader wondering why the neighours and the town people don't like her. Other than that, they seem realistic and believable.

*Castleright* Favourite Part: I laughed when Jane asked Roy to bring a gun and he said he didn't expect her to say something like that *Laugh*. The last dialogue was also very interesting and funny!

*Castleleft* Suggestions: I had a few suggestions for your work

==>Roy responded, eyeballing the dainty pale woman he had drug across the country from Seattle to the deep south.
Roy responded, eyeballing the dainty pale woman he had dragged across the country from Seattle to the deep south. I changed drug to dragged because the drug made the reader think as if she was kidnapped and forcibly taken from her home by Roy. But I have a hunch that you meant dragged.

*Castle* Final Thoughts: A nice idea, a good story but a lot of questions to be answered for the reader.

*Shield1* Thank you for sharing your work with us! *Shield2*
Write On!
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