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Review #4239352
Viewing a review of:
 
Population Control  [13+]
How the pharmaceutical companies control over population.
by Whitemorn
Review by Bobbi
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*RainbowL*A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !*RainbowR*

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Hello, Whitemorn , and good afternoon!

Greetings from House Tyrell again! I noticed that you have another piece ("The Copy Transition" ) on the review request board. I saved it on my Review Tool to tackle when I have more time. In the mean time, I found this poem which speaks a good deal of what I am also noticing in the world. The poem read clean and clear with little to no pesky grammar issues or typos, so I will rate this one with a solid four stars. Here's my rating and reviewing policies again for your reference "Bobbi's Rating and/or Reviewing Policy" . If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to email me. *Smile*


A few things I noticed as a reader:

I know a fellow who could have also easily have written this poem—the sentiments are the same and he doesn't recognize his wife any more because of her prescription and hospital addiction.

Unfortunately, she does have a brain tumor, but even when things are going well and in recession, she has become addicted to the attention her illness has facilitated and makes up new ailments at every turn so that people can fawn over her. She has also become addicted to the pain killers that that doctor had prescribed her and has on more than one occasion refused to renew. There are real issues when you use chemicals to mess with your brain, and she refuses to admit that she has a problem with them. We think that the addiction will take her before the tumor will at this point.

But enough about me...

I didn't see any obvious typos or errors to trip me up in reading, and it looks like your WritingML is clean (though there was little used—simple is best sometimes). The rhyming looked solid, too, in this story of a most unfortunate situation. Moral of the poem: don't rely on the drug pushers. They're only out for money, and even legal drugs are toxic.

Thank you for allowing me to review your piece. I'm just another reader and writer so use or discard any of my suggestions at your personal discretion. If you make changes and would like me to reassess your piece, feel free to e-mail me. *Mail*

Keep writing and carry on! *ThumbsUpL*

—Brandi of House Tyrell *Shield5*
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/17/2016 @ 5:08pm EDT
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