Times, They Are A-Changin' [E] Church goers ain't what they used to be, but all are welcome. [Rubaiyat] |
Hello, Winnie Kay , and good evening! One last stand in battle, I review something a little different in your port. I used to avoid poetry, but now I particularly like it when poets state the form that they use to help me learn something new. Your poem follows the form you stated and shares a nice message, so I shall rate it with four and a half stars (I give credit for those who help me learn, which you have pretty much done since I met you). Here, again, are my rating and reviewing policies for your reference: "Bobbi's Rating and/or Reviewing Policy" . Like I said, don't be a stranger around my port. A few things I noticed as a reader: At the end of the poem, you stated that this was a poem in "Interlocking Rubaiyat Quatrain -- Iambic Tetrameter". Being the poetic dunce I am, I had to look that up. I found a good link for the IRQ, where I learned the form was pretty much this: xxxxxxxxa xxxxxxxxa xxxxxxxxb xxxxxxxxa xxxxxxxxb xxxxxxxxb xxxxxxxxc xxxxxxxxb xxxxxxxxc xxxxxxxxc xxxxxxxxa xxxxxxxxc The rhymes interlock at the third line where it comes back to A. The pantameter goes "da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM". The content of the poem itself speaks of the acceptance of all in God's house, even if the dress and behavior is not what the narrator is raised with. That is the Christian message, is it not? Didn't Jesus walk among those others would consider unsavory? I feel as though that is the ultimate lesson of the contemporary poem—God doesn't judge. Thank you for allowing me to review your piece. I'm just another reader and writer so use or discard any of my suggestions at your personal discretion. If you make changes and would like me to reassess your piece, feel free to e-mail me. Keep writing and carry on! —Brandi of House Tyrell, former Comma Sense student My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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