Greetings, sugarglider58!

My name is Lady Cubbyella and I am one of the sly foxes from the House of Florent.

Title: The Dark at the Top of the Stairs

First Impression: Oh, wow! That was unexpected and creepy! You've definitely peaked my interest here. I realize this was written as a contest entry, but need to ask if you are planning to continue this fascinating start to perhaps a very creepy story for kids?! I'm also interested if you placed in the contest? You've pulled me right in, from the start! Nice work!

What needs your attention:
The only thing that stood out, and it wasn't a huge deal, was that the thoughts (in a couple different places) were not italicized. The switch of tenses is what brought it to my attention, and then I realized it was because your character was thinking at that point. Something for you to consider, anyway.

What part I liked best: I was truly surprised when the old man turned out to be the girl's cousin, Jason! And then it was her turn to change!!! Loved this!

Overall impression: It's a great beginning to what could be an exciting adventure for kids to read! Of course most kids like to be mildly scared, so you've started a great foundation to what could be a children's chapter book, perhaps for the upper elementary age level.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my
pleasure.

Have a great day and...
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !

Cubby ")

A "Simply Positive Review Forum "  Review


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

You responded to this review 07/18/2016 @ 3:24pm EDT

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