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Review #4240255
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Review by ~ Aqua ~
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Rated: | (4.0)
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*Shield6* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield6*
A Review from "SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" 


Hello, Rima... ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.


Quite a peaceful, nice flash fiction you have here. I was searching for something to review from your portfolio when I came by this flash fiction and I was very intrigued by the title you had. I had a flute, I still have it somewhere in the store, and I know how I loved playing it. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to play it well and it was just notes that made painful voices so I stopped. I wanted to learn but I never got any opportunity. Among the musical instruments, I enjoy listening to piano, violin and flute. Therefore, I wanted to know what kind of a story you had written on flute.

The starting is very good, you make a very beautiful, serene image in the reader's mind. The reader can feel herself sitting next to the author near the lake, enjoying the scene, the chirping of the birds as they flew in the sky, playing with each other, the rustling of the leaves as they move and the swans in the lake. Beautiful! At the end, the reader felt very sad to see that you didn't find your flute and you couldn't enjoy any more by the lake, playing it and seeing all the animals, birds and insects listen to it.

I had a few suggestions for your work. The red text is from your work while the green text is my suggestion for a possible edit. Feel free to ignore any if you don't agree.

==>I was, at least untill that day.
I was, at least until that day.

==> The surrounding trees cast a soothing shadow
I felt that the 'cast' should be casted instead of cast because of the tense used in your story.

==> There was a little wind that day.
There was little wind that day.

Oh and thank you for cheering and supporting Martell! *Sun* *Salute*

*Shield1* Thank you for sharing your work with us! *Shield2*
Write On!
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/19/2016 @ 1:16pm EDT
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