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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4240311
Review #4240311
Viewing a review of:
She Lingered Still  [13+]
Kansas poet contest - title prompt, about being unable to move on.
by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Rhythm/Rhyme:
The rhythm of this one was clear from one stanza to the next. It's not meant to rhyme, but there is a clear pattern here.

Summary:
A woman who sits waiting, unable to let go as each day passes. Very sad scene as she sits by the window, her tears and the rain mimicking one another as she is trapped in her memories.

Critique:
Another haunting poem. You have a really good grasp of getting the imagery across in your poetry. Every word compliments the next, painting the scene for the reader to see clearly. Grief can be such a paralyzing thing, keeping us stuck in certain moments, seeing no light waiting at the end of the tunnel. I keep reading the second stanza because it was the most powerful one for me. The moonlight unable to bring the comfort she seeks, the physical pain that fades so slowly, but remains regardless. Great job with this one as well. It's dark, yet moving and easy to identify with the woman in the poem. This one will stay with me because the visual imagery was so precise that I can picture her sitting beside the window, looking out and watching the raindrops. Thanks for sharing this one. Write on!

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/08/2016 @ 2:55pm EDT
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