Hello Aries Fire . Welcome to WDC! I'm Charlie. Thanks for sharing your writing with us. I hope this review finds you well.


Title/General Thoughts/Subject Matter: This is a cool sort of prose monologue essay, or whatever you want to call it. I read this because I think sundown is the perfect time for a muse to come alive! I wanted to see what you had to say about it and how that related to a ghost. What we have here is a romantic, emotional story of loving too much.

What Worked: I think some of the descriptions you used were cool. I could feel the desperation in your words and see how much the love meant to you, invisible as it may be. There was a sort of needy, emotional thing about this and it felt like the writer was willing to do anything to achieve this love, healthy or not.

My favorite line was:
Only the stars know what my heart will never accept.

Beautiful!

Technical Issues/Suggestions: Some of the wording here was just strange to me. Like: I'll wrap my heart around the sorrow of wanting that which I'll never have. Wanting that which I'll never have... My tongue tripped over that one. I thought the ending was a little bit abrupt. It seemed like it would have gone longer and fully concluded.

Final Thoughts: Overall, I thought this was interesting and well-written. I'd like to see it fleshed out a bit more, but a good read overall!


Best wishes,





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .